


Unfinished, Untouched, and Unmarked Are These Stories, None of Which Will Reach Their Glories.

by Tasjaw0n7



Category: Homestuck, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/F, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-01-21 06:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12451891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tasjaw0n7/pseuds/Tasjaw0n7
Summary: A collection of unfinished one shots and experimental works where the writing is lovely but it goes nowhere regardless. Expect lots of Blue Pearl, Tsuyu Asui, Aradia Megido, and other personal favorite characters in this collection because I'm not interested in writing about anyone else.If you have any ideas about continuing these drabbles, do tell me! I'd love for some inspiration. I also take writing requests so go wild with those if you wish.





	1. Blue Pearl: Grass

Yet time passes past your fingertips and into a droll of voices and space. Such is its fate in your hands. In the hands of a gem, as pristine and hand crafted as you. For the pearl of a Diamond herself let loose ends fall into the dark. It was not her place to recognize the passage of time. Nor the soft green of the Earth's grass. The sun that settled on the tree leaves or the way chills came with a wind that shifted through her hair were of no consequence to her.

Her or Her Diamond.

Blue Diamond had no use for a pearl who admired the way bark looked, crumpled and taught like burnt metal and sediment. A being of perfection could see that for herself. All the world would be Her sight. Only She could see such things. Not a pearl.

But it was hard not to see. It pained her to stare at the grass under her head, covered by her body's shadow as she knelt in respect to a tombstone of pink shine. But grass was beautiful in its own way. Able to withstand the weigh of a Diamond and Her servant and the morning dew and the wind that only made it bend but never break.

Grass was nice. If only her Diamond let grass be planted in other colonies. Perhaps the gems there would like grass as well. Homeworld cared for things that never broke. The sturdy Jasper's and Amethyst's would bend to submission to sharp cut Agates, but they would never break. A stone was not made to break. Homeworld was meant to stand tall but bow low in the pretense of those who had created it.

It was easy to bow. Pearl had gotten used to it. She was made for this. To compliment her Diamond's wishes. To stay still as a decoration and ornament was her purpose. To bow and stay low was her life.

But sometimes she could almost forget.

Not about bowing. How could a gem forget what they were made for? No. She could lose herself in the beauties of the grass. Envy, perhaps. That's what it was called. Pearl never had to be envious. She served a Diamond. To serve Her was every gems dream.

But grass was so light. So small and content with shifting in the wind and growing into the ground. Still, but always moving. Always breathing with life in its veins.

Pearl could be envious of that. It was hard to remember, sometimes, what it was like to move. For Blue Diamonds chambers were always cold, and the ice of that self-imposed solitude stung Pearls skin and mind through the fall of imposter tears on her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a one shot about how Blue Pearl was feeling before Greg showed up, but I never got that far in writing it.


	2. Aradia&Damara: Modern MagicStuck

The air is broken by your sister blowing smoke from her mouth. You've never liked smoke. It reminds you of when mom got back from work, always smelling of cigars and plastic. You hate it. You hate her boss and her job. She could do better and she knows it. Although, this doesn't smell like after work mom. Damara had set a charm to make her cigarettes smell like maple just for you, thinking you wouldn't be reminded of it. It's the thought that counts, you guess.

Damara is an odd sister. There are things you'll never understand about her. You'll never get why she holds grudges, why she insists that "School Days" is a good anime, or why she loves to make people pay for made up fortunes behind her school every Wednesday. You've given up trying to get her out of the house during the day so she can socialize; it only took a few thousand tries to see she wouldn't budge. You think she's depressed, or at the least very stubborn.

You hope it's just stubbornness.

Though there are things you do understand about her. You get it, that she was hurt and she can't forgive. You've never had that problem for too long yourself, it was easier to forgive rather than hold grudges. So long as you never forget, that is. Damara's problem is that she thinks forgiving and forgetting are the same thing. Which it's not, of course, but that's her choice in the end and you can't do anything to help if she won't listen.

You love her though. Nothing she ever does will change that fact. You just wished she would listen to you instead of shutting her bedroom door and playing heavy metal music at full blast.

Damara blows out some more smoke, the scent of maple wafts through the air of your houses patio. It's not a rich place, the view is partially blocked by the 'Skia Corporations' building, but if you sit at the right angle you can see the sky and everything in it.

It's night time. The black sky's darkness is lighted by shimmering stars, glittering in the moons glow. It's quiet, a common thing to have in your house nowadays.

Your mom and dad aren't home yet, and even though you love them you're glad they're still out. The long pauses and stares they share together about you two, silent conversations full of a thousand unsaid words, make you squirm in the mere thought of their judgement.

You turn to Damara to distract yourself, watching her stare at the sky and tap the ashes out of her cigarette. She doesn't smile, just has a blank face. You hate that blank face. Honestly, you do. She comes home too much with it, and when she doesn't it's with a frown. Sometimes you wish you were a natural psychic instead of necromancer. Maybe then you could see what was so wrong.

Maybe you could fix her then. Or help. Somehow.

"Aradia. What are you looking at?"

You nearly fall off your chair. "You." Is the mumbled reply. You are the worst liar in history, you won't even try it.

"Ha, I'm even irresistible to my sister." Damara smirks, blowing out more smoke. You frown and she chuckles.

"Stop making sex jokes. It's annoying." You grumble, squirming in your chair for a better seat.

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever."

"And stop saying whatever. That's even worse."

Damara gives you her famous side eye, and sticks out her tongue. "What's got your intestines in a bundle?" She asks, and your face softens a bit. It's an old saying mom uses with you sometimes. You like it.

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"About what?"

You look at the ground for a second, not really sure if you want to say anything.

Damara shifts to face you. "Tell me."

"It's nothing." You say.

She raises her right eyebrow in suspicion. "Oh really now?"

You bite your lip and look away.

"Aradia."

"Hurrmm...?"

"I'm going to count to five."

Oh god no.

"One... Two...." She leans closer. "Three... Fo---"

"I was thinking about you and why you neversmileanymorebecuaseidontknowimjustworried, I'm SORRY!" You blurt, smacking your hands over your mouth and closing your eyes tightly.

Damara blinks, looking at you with confusion. "What?"

"Please tell me you actually heard what I was saying."

"I have no idea what you said."

Dammit. "I'm just worried about you Damara."

She blinks, putting out the fire in her cigarette. "Worried?"

"Yes, worried. You haven't exactly been acting, well, normal lately. No, not lately. For a while."

"... What is normal me like?"

"It's smiling! Smiling and making me lunches and talking about our day and, gosh Damara I don't know, I just don't like how you keep on smoking and doing all these weird things."

"I can stop smoking."

"Forever or just in front of me?"

"Hm. Good point."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always headcannon the Megidos as Necromancers or fortune tellers in my magicstucks. It just fits in my opinion.


	3. Aradia<3Feferi: After the Game Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Drabble about Aradia<3Feferi, and how Feferi deals with Aradia's unfortunate "habits".
> 
> TW: Self Harm, PSTD, Panic Attacks, Mental Illness.

Sometimes you would see Aradia hunched over the sink, panting wildly with frantic eyes, long scratches ripping through any flesh she could claw at with dark maroon blood dribbling down her skin. When you had asked her about it she said it made her feel relieved, as horrible as it was. Further prodding lead to her revealing that the relief was from being able to feel and see maroon, not blue, blood leaking from her body. How her skin was not metal or transparent anymore, that it was actual skin which gave her shape. It was the fact of being alive again, the sudden pain that came from the scratches, that Aradia had taken an unhealthy comfort in.

Nobody blamed you for worrying.

It wasn't like Aradia particularly enjoyed it either, or the aftermath of bandaging and concern at least. She argued that even though it wasn't the best thing for to do, it was the only thing the quelled her fears of staying permanently dead. After all, she said, it's not like all of us are the healthiest on our own; and it doesn't happen as often as it used to.

You had asked Rose about how to help Aradia, and she told you about something called post traumatic stress disorder and depression. The familiarity of both topics stung bitterly, and you had to excuse yourself from the talk because you didn't want to cry in front of Rose when she asked about how Aradia died and what happens when she relapsed. Though you did a horrible job of leaving, with an even worse job of bringing up an excuse, and it was easy to tell how Rose flinched when you abruptly stood up to leave. Regret has passed through you like waves of thick sea salt, but they left once Rose looked directly into your eyes.

She knew how hard it would be to talk about your matesprit like that. After all, you had also seen how terrified and nervous Rose had been when Kanaya had stayed in her room for two days straight because of sharp memories containing splattered blood and screaming white light. The Seer let you leave, no need for excuses after that. She knew, and if anything she was regretting to make you talk about it.

You had promised her a discussion over Pestrollum to make up for it, yes Sollux did combine the names of Pesterchum and Trollian together when he made a new chat client, instead of face to face talking. Rose accepted, telling to take your time and chat when ready.

You never did contact her about that subject yet, now that you think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was vent anyway and I could never add anymore to it. I feel bad for putting Aradia in angst but I love it so.


	4. Aradia<3Feferi<3Sollux: Highblood Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love this pairing. Three paring? AraSolFef was my jam back then. All of them dealing with after-SGRUB pain was hella good for vent writing.
> 
> TW: Panic Attacks, Bruising, Mental Illness, PTSD.

It's been a long time since you've relapsed.

The last time was a few pedigrees ago, if you remember correctly. Nobody was sure how it really happened, but something did and all of a sudden the bed you were sleeping in felt like cold bloody horns and your chest felt hollow with only screeching blasts of white filling your mind.

You had woken up with a scream of terror, covering your finned ears because you didn't want to hear the blast of death anymore or Aradia and Sollux rushing over to calm you down with pure fear gripping their voices.

By the time you had some control over your body and thoughts, Sollux was sobbing and repeating how it was all his fault you were doomed while he shakily managed to help Aradia immobilize you with telekinesis. You're too strong for your own good sometimes, it's one of the things that comes with being a highblood, and after everything stopped looking like fushia blood you guiltily cleaned up the smashed table and lamp you had destroyed in your haze of blind anger and sadness. Aradia had switched to comforting Sollux when she was certain that you were in full control of yourself, letting you calm down by focusing on picking up glass shards and broken wood.

It took around ten minutes for you to get rid of the damage, with two extra for Sollux to stop freaking out. All in all, it was dealt with somewhat efficiently. After all, everyone was used to this type of thing right now. You try not to think about how normal this kind of thing seems to be.

All three of you cuddled afterwards, holding each other tightly to let warmth and the reminder of life to flow through each breath and hug. It was nice, but you wish that it could have been peaceful instead of desperate to know the other wasn't hurt.

You remember that day so clearly, and it makes you wonder why you are currently in a time lock instead of bandaging Sollux's bleeding shoulder or healing Aradia's bruises on her throat.

Sollux pants with exhaustion, shakily grabbing a towel to soak up his mustard blood and making sure the bandages are nearby. Aradia breaths in deeply, touching her throat once but flinching away from the fresh wound with a hiss of pain.

Your attempts at reaching out to them fail, and you instead look around the hive to see just what the hell happened.

There is a big gaping hole in the wall of the bedroom and you are certain that the bookcase was supposed to be taller and less splintered than that. Some of Aradia's archeology collection have been broken along with at least three of Sollux's computers. Oh god, shit, even the chairs and tables were not spared from the massacre.

If you could flinch out of guilt and regret now, you would.

You look at Aradia and Sollux again, and wish that you had never even existed in the first place because you are certain you went on another relapse rampage and caused all of this. You were doing so well too! The last time you thought about SGRUBs madness was a while ago.

Aradia grabs some healing ointment from Sollux, the Gemini having already bandaged his shoulder already.

"You okay AA?" He asks, looking at her neck with concern.

Aradia nods, tries not the twitch at the pain that causes, and rubs the substance on the bruises. "Somewhat, I think." She turns to look back at you, "Feferi, I'm going to weaken the lock on you and see if you are in your right state of mind, okay?" The time lock gradually drops so you can only move your face and talk.

As soon as that happens you're blubbering and crying, and saying how you're so sorry that you hurt them and ruined the hive and how you should have been in control and not fucked everything up and oh god you shouldn't even be near me I don't want to hurt you becuase I couldn't handle the memories, I don't deserve forgiveness I'm fucking awful. Though you aren't sure if they even understand because you are sobbing to much and most of it seems like gibberish at this point. 

Aradia calmly releases the time lock on you completely, and you fall down to the floor; curled up in a ball and crying. You really fucked up, they shouldn't forgive you, this is all your fault you should know better, you should handle it better, why does this keep happening?!?

"Feferi." You feel Aradia's hands on your back. "Feferi it's okay. We can just clean up, this kind of thing happens. It's alright."

You tighten in on yourself, stiffening against Aradias gentle paps. "No... N-No, it's not okay Aradia, it's not! I don't want to-" Your fists clench around your head "-hurt you guys, cod, I'm such a glub fucking idiot!"

This time Sollux touches you, lightly grabbing your tightly gripped fists, "FF, you aren't an idiot. It's like AA said, we've all been through this. Just relax your hands for me, okay?"

You managed to take a few shaky deep breaths, slowly unclenching your fists into his gentle grip. He kisses your head, lightly pulling your hands to your stomach while Aradia helps uncurl you so you can breath better.

"Yeah, just like that FF. You're doing such a great job."

Aradia kisses your cheek softly, rubbing inbetween your shoulder blades. "Feferi, concentrate on your breathing. Stay in the present. You can get through this."

She places her hand over yours, and you focus on your breath coming into your body.

"Perfect. Just keep relaxing, nothing you're remembering can hurt you now."


End file.
